Brain rush...

I spent 31 hours in the state of Washington and got lost more times than I care to remember, but I did have the joy of sitting in on Emergence 2007 which is a conversation about the emerging church.

I'll admit that I was hoping for a bit more verbal sparring and maybe even a bit more passion at times. It occasionally felt like the moderator (who I completely can't recall a name for right now, but let's call her "radio lady") was completely taking the steam out of things. Come on, I paid good money (and traveled a good distance) and wouldn't mind a heated debate between Mark Driscoll and Doug Pagitt about the innerancy of Scripture. (Wow...I never thought I'd say something like that. I nearly bored myself to sleep writing an ordination paper on the subject of innerancy. I'm rambling...)

With all that said, this was a fascinating event to eavesdrop on. I wish I could summarize it into one blog post, but I have about 8 pages of my own notes (sheesh, when did I become such a nerd?). But I think anyone who has issues or questions about the emerging church should sit in on one of these.

I know a good deal of people with some serious baggage about the emerging church movement that should have sat in on this too so it could break down some of their misconceptions. Misconceptions that they probably share with a lot of other people who raise their eyebrows at the very mention of the word "emerging".

At the end of the day I'm convinced that these four people (Driscoll, Pagitt, Karen Ward & Dan Kimball) are just trying to figure out what it means to follow Jesus. Are they confused and off base on some stuff? No more than the rest of us. Let's be honest, who really has this whole Jesus following thing figured out?

Anyway...if you have the chance, pay your $49 and go sit in on one of these things.

Not soon enough...

I'm wandering through cyberspace and discover that there will be a CD and DVD release of the Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds show from Radio City Music Hall back on Sunday, April 22, 2007.

The last CD these two released was Live at Luther College and it was what officially got me hooked on all things Dave Matthews. This will be good.

Now if only I could see these two live.

Dork-am-I...

I'm the kind of guy who goes to movies by himself. And no, it's not because I have no friends. But I've been known to sit in the odd movie theater by myself from time to time. And you know what...it's not that bad. It's not like you go to a movie to talk anyways.

But one of the things I've never been good at is doing things on my own. I'm not even attending a youth worker appreciation lunch tomorrow because I don't really know anyone that'll be there. And that's a lame excuse because I have met a few people...anyways, back to the topic.

On Friday I head to Seattle by myself for a day. I'm attending Emergence 2007 which is a conversation about the emerging church. After my wife declined due to childcare issues I tried to arm twist a few people into joining me (actually it was only one, but I don't want that one person to feel bad). But I've now settled on being alone with my thoughts...yeah...scary stuff.

But I'm contemplating taking my dork factor to another factor as I consider purchasing tickets for a Saturday evening concert (bonus points if you can guess who and where). I guess I should probably say "a ticket". Singular. Solitary. Uno.

A concert alone? Is that normal? I am trying to tell myself it's just like going to a movie alone but I don't know if I'm even buying that line of thought.

Funny kid...

My kids have been known to occasionally crack me up. The latest situation saw me driving my son to school after lunch today. I turned on the radio and opted for 89.9FM (The Effect) which is a station that plays "alternative Christian music" (let's try to avoid the conversation on how exactly a music can gain its salvation for another day).

I haven't listened to the station in a while but I guess Monday at noon they play "The Way of the Master" radio program. My common sense cut out and a I left it on for the drive because it's kind of like watching a train wreck. Either way, I'll save my commentary on their specific manner of evangelism for now but if you'd like to see them in action, just do a YouTube search for "way of the master".

Anyways, back to the point...my son listened for a bit and we made some small talk before this came out of his mouth:

"Hey dad...you know the guy who is talking? He sounds just like Pa Grape."

Yeah...funny kid. I'll take credit for that.

Irresistible...

I doubt that my writing about Shane Claiborne or just quoting portions of his book will be all that inspiring or life-transforming for you, so on this one you'll just have to go out buy the book.

As you read you'll probably be scratching your head while you contemplate selling everything you own and moving out of North America. And yes you'll more than likely be wondering what would happen if we all started living like this...but it'll be a fun little conversation going on inside your head. And that alone is worth the $17.99 CAN.

I'll include some of the random thoughts and reactions I had while thumbing through the pages.

• "So...are you a hippie, or what?"
• "Huh?!?!"
• "Mother Teresa was a smart lady."
• "You're an idiot."
• "I'm an idiot."
• "____________ is an idiot."
• "Where's my Calcutta?"
• "What little thing can I do with great love?"
• "Is this dream even practical?"

I could say more, but it would ruin the book. And it would take me more time to craft the words and I'm not feeling eloquent today.

Happy birthday...

1977 was a good year, but I'm biased on 2 levels. Today is the 30th birthday of Star Wars. In honour of that, here's a tribute.

Dorkville Population: 1 (that's me!)

Ritual lament...

Philip Yancey described "ritual lament" at a past NYWC. It's stuck as a bit of a coin phrase in our household. And it's the only phrase that describes my head space for the past week (or maybe weeks). I'm not sure what's going on...so if anyone has a clinical psychology degree, I'd more than welcome your opinions and suggestions.

Until then I'll keep on putting one foot in front of the other while I try to be honest with those closest to me and those random people that read this blog.

Maybe this I'll just blame this all on United losing to Chelsea last Saturday.

Relevant Church...

This book was a collection of short essays written by pastors about what they were doing to create environments where people can passionately pursue Jesus and live out their faith in the midst of others.

If you're familiar with any of the individuals who contributed to the book you will constantly feel like it was all taking place 3-4 years ago. Nonetheless it does a good job of showing a multitude of different ways that church can be lived out.

While I'd like to say "I'd go to some of these churches", I know there is something seriously wrong with that statement. But I think you get the point.

Invite-evangelists...

"We need to stop inviting people to Christian events as our only form of outreach."
(Dustin Bagby, The Relevant Church)

How many times do we see this in churches? We put on an event. We tell everyone to invite their friends. We call it outreach. It begs me to ask, what have we even done to reach out?

I think outreach takes a risk. I think it requires us putting our life on the line more than it requires our pride being put on the line. Really that's all we do when we work as invite-evangelists. We're hoping that someone will come see all the hard work we've done (even if we would never admit it) and we hope that they will be moved and respond accordingly. But what have we risked? Our pride takes a hit when someone says no or says they're busy. But that's all (even though we seem to make it out to be a big deal). We choke it up and vow to try again at the next invite-only event.

But I have a picture of more urgency and more risk when it comes to introducing people to Jesus. If someone fell off the balcony of a 23-story building, we wouldn't just stand by and kindly ask the person to reach out their hand and grab the other railing. The idea of "I hope they don't refuse my advice and then fall to their death" wouldn't even enter the picture. We would hopefully be throwing themselves over the balcony to try and rescue the individual. There's more on the line than just someones pride...it's their life.

Yet, how often are we willing to risk our lives when it comes to those around us? How willing are we to risk our time and energy on those that don't know Jesus? How likely are we to just stand by and invite someone and hope that someone else will take the risk?

Most of us don't know how to risk. We don't want to risk rejection. We don't want to risk failing. We don't want to risk the time, the energy, the late night phone calls, the constant questions and the seemingly endless interruptions that come from dealing with messy and hurting lives. Instead, we settle for inviting someone to some event and then we pat ourselves on the back and say we've done our part.

But, isn't outreach about investing in people? And spending time with people? And listening to people...and loving people? Isn't it about being with people? Isn't it all about risk?

I think of Jesus who was with people when they were tired, when they were annoying, when they asked ridiculous questions, when they didn't understand, when they failed, when they made mistakes, when they were messy. He took risks. He invested time. He didn't just stand by and wait for someone else to do something. He did it.

Is invite-evangelism normal?

Expanding my mind...

I've never spent a day just doing some random reading and studying. Normally I'm working on a lesson or planning for an event or meeting. Today I decided to start reading and see what happens. No strings attached. Just taking it where it goes. Here's a sample of what I've covered today:

• Read some articles on the Emerging Church
• Familiarized myself with Acts 29 Network which included a lot of reading about their doctrine and beliefs
  
• Listened to "Reverse Engineering Your Life" by Mark Driscoll
• Read an article on Bible translations...yeah, I'm not sure why either...
  
• Read a few chapters of "The Relevant Church"
• Wrote of few pages of journal stuff
• Read some pages from Catalyst Groupzine
  

I'd like to say I'm smarter now than I was at 9 this morning. I don't think it would be true.

More confessions...

But they're not my own because I'm not that authentic. I just finished Mark Driscoll's "Confessions of A Reformission Rev". It's the journey of how his church plant in Seattle called Mars Hill has grown and developed over the years. Each chapter focuses on a specific chapter of their life (ie: 0-45 people, 45-75 people, 350-1000 people, 4000-10000 people, etc...I think you get the point).

In case you don't know much about Mark, he seems to get himself in trouble a lot because he speaks his mind (for an example, you can read this about a little video he made and some of the discussion it has stirred up). But I like his approach. I like the fresh style and the sarcasm. And I like the insights he has to offer.

A few things in particular are spending an extra bit of time floating through my cranium:

1. Mars Hill really calls people to step up to the plate. And there are many times where Mark mentions that they want people to be serving in the church rather than just being consumers. For that reason if someone isn't willing to dive in and get involved, they are told to leave. When was the last time we told someone to leave church because the only thing they've done for the last 10 years was sit in a pew?

2. Mark expanded on an Amway concept to develop 4 phases of organizational decline. In it he describes it as:

Phase 1 - Creative, the dream stage
Phase 2 - Management, the reality stage
Phase 3 - Defensive justification, the failure stage
Phase 4 - Blaming, the death stage

If you want a more detailed explanation, buy the book. But let's just say that I'm finding myself asking lots of questions where the ministries I am involved at would be on this chart. And to be completely honest, it's a scary question to ask. What I am discovering is causing me to shake my head lots and mumble "aarrrgghhh" (and that's not in a pirate type of way). Ask my wife...it's true.

3. Attractional or missional? Which describes me, my ministries, and our church? Driscoll's challenge is that churches should be both. They should be drawing people in, but they should also be sending people out. Again he talks about not wanting church to be consumer-minded.

----------

As you can imagine, this is only a small piece of the picture. There's lots of stuff to chew on. And I'm sure this will only serve to continue my ongoing process of "God...what the heck are you up to?"

Glory Glory Man Utd...

It's official...2007 Premier League Champions! The trophy is finally in hand.

My only beef on the day was that I set the DVR to record the game and arrived home after church to find that they actually played the Chelsea-Everton game. Come on! And for those of you who are replying with "check you TV guide next time", let me point out that as of 12:30am last night the United game was supposed to be on. Sheesh...

Anyways, this will be worth a few thousand words...

(HT to Derek)

Flashback...

We had a pile of our youth leaders over for a BBQ tonight and what a blast that was. I hope my neighbors don't hate us. But a few of the college/university students stayed a little later and we watched some stuff on YouTube. Here's a gem...

Beautiful mess...

I've heard about the Kingdom of God, but I can honestly say I've never done a whole lot of processing about what (or where) it actually is. For the most part I've been part of that camp that sees it as something to come. But what Rick McKinley (author of The Beautiful Mess and pastor of Imago Dei) describes is a Kingdom that is already present, if only we would open our eyes to it.

The book is split into 3 major parts and the third portion focuses on practicing the presence of the Kingdom and I can honestly say he has given me something to chew on. As you may know, I've been on a bit of a journey myself in my faith and I've really been challenged lately with the practical aspects of it. Or maybe I should say the current lacking of the practical aspects of it.

I'm not a nature-freak, but I wonder about my responsibility as a follower of Jesus to look after creation. I've got kids of my own and I work with students, but where do our our churches place value on learning from the younger generations and worshiping with them, rather than entertaining them and ignoring them? And what about the poor and the homeless? What about the broken and wounded people in our community?

Are we actually living out the Kingdom of God or just biding our time in the safety of our pew and completely missing out on the closeness of the Kingdom?

We've got our trophy back...

United beat City yesterday which meant that Chelsea needed to win today in order to keep any hope alive of being able to catch up before the end of the season. They ended up with a draw against Arsenal. So...

We've got our trophy back!

We've got our trophy back!

While we still have 2 games left in the season, we also have an FA Cup final against Chelsea on the 19th. Another glorious opportunity to pour some salt into the wounds of the Blues.

Makeover...

I think I just spent too much time this evening giving this blog a makeover. I don't know if I'm completely satisfied with this one, but it'll do for now. I don't know if I'll ever get it to look like the vision in my head without becoming a dotcom. And I think I've already committed myself to not doing that.

And now I await a 4am game between Manchester United and the Scum (Manchester City). No hiccups tomorrow and we'll be that much closer to clinching the title next week when we play Chelsea.

Dwight highlight 4...

The past couple of weeks haven't been the greatest episodes ever, but there have been some classsic moments like this...

Stupid politicians...

Ask my wife...I can't stand politics or politicians. And this just once again shows why I feel this way. Apparently some people in government have nothing better to do than criticize Hockey Canada's decision to choose Shane Doan as captain of the IIHF Men's World Hockey Championship. Their main beef is that Doan allegedly made comments about French-Canadians (directed at the officials of the match) during a game in Montreal back in 2005. And since they provide funding for Hockey Canada they feel they can dictate how a hockey team is managed.

So instead of doing something productive like raising the age of consent they'll spend their time calling Hockey Canada in to explain why they chose a player like Doan, who is a quality player and a leader on the ice, to be their team captain. Somebody please explain this to me. It can't be normal.

Monday ramblings...

It took me almost 45 minutes to get through all my emails this morning after missing last week. And that doesn't count the 5 or 6 I picked up last Thursday. But I don't regret ignoring my emails last week while at retreat. After all, it is a "retreat".

Last week reminded me of how much of an introvert I really am. I would die without regular time to my space. I think the world of the other YP's in the district, but all week I wrestled with a feeling of "I don't really fit in here". I'm not sure if that is normal...

Now I'm eating supper in my office as I wait for my middle schoolers to show up in a couple of hours. I wonder how the evening will go.

Play guitar like this...

While I am still contemplating the future post that will turn the blogging world on its head, I must post this. I stumbled across it today in my semi-monthly YouTube wanderings. The guy's name is Erik Mongrain, a Montrealer who taught himself to play the guitar and basically made a name for himself by playing on the streets and in subways. Wow...

Retreat...

It's that time of year again. The annual district youth pastor's retreat. It should be good. It'll be nice to have some time with no "normal" student ministry responsibilities. It'll be fun to reconnect with some old friends. I'm also leading worship, which should be interesting given that I have absolutely no clue what most everyone else is singing these days. Is Kumbayah current?

But, I will miss a variety of things...

• My wife and my kids
• My bed
• Champion's League football (I hope I can find wireless internet)
• My bike, TV and computer (I know...I'm hopeless)
• My wife and my kids (wait a sec...did I already mention that?)

Not a dot com...

I apologize for 2 posts in a row about student ministry. It goes against my nature to speak for too long on one subject unless it's talking to my students. I'm sure they wish that I would shut up earlier some times.

So, now on to another completely different topic: American Idol. My thoughts? I'll keep them to my self for fear of looking like more of a dork than I already have confessed to be. But the kid that can't sing that keeps on winning is cracking me up!

Also, I'm pondering the possibility of a future profound post that will rock the blogging world. Much like this one by a pastor's wife I know or this one by a friend who says lots of smart stuff that I would never even be able to come up with, or this one by another friend who uses a word I've never even heard of to talk about something I've also experienced.

You would be well advised to watch this space...

Longevity in YM (Part 2)...

As previously stated, here is the conclusion of the list I began last week.

7. Serve Outside the Youth Ministry
You get paid to do this, so do something else that’s not youth related. If you want to last you also need to be serving. Be a volunteer in the nursery, play on a worship team, set up chairs or run sound. Just don’t call it “work”.

8. Have An Outlet
If you don’t’ have some sort of outlet outside the ministry, it will eat you alive. It doesn’t matter if it’s youth or seniors, you can’t focus on it all the time. Play soccer or golf or any other sport, build a car, take up crochet. You need to do something outside of the church if you want to last. Oh, and talking to students online doesn’t count!

9. Be Willing to Make Some Sacrifices
If you aren’t flexible to some degree, you’ll have trouble lasting. This doesn’t mean you don’t have boundaries, because you, your family and your students need those. But it does mean that you will have to attend the occasional school play on a night off. It does mean that you may have to say sacrifice a great concert at the church to be with your family. It does mean your weekly schedule will never look the same the next week. To last, you will have to make some sacrifices.

10. Communicate
Learn to communicate, communicate and then communicate some more. And then when you tell everyone what’s going on, tell them two more times. If you want to last you need to learn how to tell people what is going on. And you need to be aware that most people don’t read the bulletin, check emails, visit the website or listen to their voice mail, so you may need to be creative.

11. Learn To Say “No”
If you can’t say “no”, you will be eaten alive by anything and everything that moves within the walls of your church. You may have to say “no” to some good stuff too. It may be saying “no” to a certain speaker that wants to talk to the youth because the topic won’t fit or the speaker won’t fit. It may mean saying “no” to a student’s phone call so you can spend time with your family. If you want to last you need to learn how to say “no”. And you’ll need to learn how to say it with conviction!

Longevity in YM (Part 1)...

I got a call this week from a college student who was looking for someone who had been in youth ministry for more than five years. I guess I qualified. I've been doing this full-time for 7 years, but working with students for almost 12. He was looking for 10 keys to longevity (I provided 11 so I would appear smart) when working with students.

I'll admit that most of this list isn't new. In fact, most of it is probably covered in every good youth ministry book ever written, but it's stuff that I've tried to put in place or stuff I'm trying to put in place, and it seems to be working. Here's part of what what I sent him. I'll save the rest for next week.

1. Be Willing to Learn
This involves being a student of students. You need to know who you’re trying to serve. This requires attending classes, seminars, courses, speaking events, movies and anything else that deals with students (ie– what they do/listen to; how to reach them; how to help them, how to understand them, etc). If you don’t learn, you won’t get better at what you do and you won’t last.

2. Read Lots
And don’t just read about youth ministry. Try to wrap your brain around other things and other ministries—even things you don’t particularly care for or understand. Remember that we are training students who will one day be leading our other ministries in church. It helps to know what we can do to train them for that. And it helps to know what’s going on around us. And lastly, it makes you look like you know what you’re doing when you’re reading books that other non-youth workers are reading!

3. Hang Out With Adults
Someone once told me that I should spend an hour in meaningful conversation with people my own age for every hour I spend with students (it was likely Marv Penner). Students, while a focus of my world, shouldn’t be my entire world. I need to remember that I am an adult and that adolescence is temporary. I cannot live in the world of teenagers without it affecting me somehow, so I need something to balance it.

4. Don’t Stoop to Cheap Tricks and Gimmicks
The minute I try to compete with iPods, cell phones, parties, TV, Hollywood and Disneyland...I will lose. Don’t try to get students with gimmicks. They’ll take the freebies but it won’t bring about any lasting growth. If I’m all about the “cool factor”, I won’t last.

5. Preach the Word
Keep yourself grounded in the Word and keep preaching the truth of the Word and you’ll likely be ok (I’ll admit that you’re never completely safe). The troubles tend to arise on the extra commentaries that so many people try to force on Scripture. Sure, there’s a time and place for adding your two cents, but let’s remember that the Bible IS the Word of God and what you and I say isn’t. Keep it truthful!

6. Know Your Elders & Your Senior Pastor
Spend time getting to know your elders and who they are and what they are about. Genuinely care about then, pray for them, encourage them and support them. Even, dare I say it, hang out with them! If you want to last, you will want to have as many of them as possible in your corner.

A picture worth a 1000 words...

Last week was horrible for my teams of choice in the sporting world, but today was another story. United headed home to Old Trafford to host Roma after losing the first game 2-1. And United came out to play. This was the definition of a clinic. Perfect passes, passionate tackles, precise crosses, timely runs and beautiful goals.

And now it's on to the semi-finals. If only we can avoid Chelsea until the very end. I think the Premier League coming down to a United-Chelsea game and the Champions League coming down to a United-Chelsea would be such a gut-wrenching yet somewhat appealing stage of events.

Although, I will admit I'll shout like there's no tomorrow if Chelsea were to drop out of either race any sooner!

Free of charge randomness...

I was in the midst of working on tomorrow night's message for our high schoolers when my brain decided to call it a day. It's actually kind of a good sign. Usually I'm interrupted every 20-30 minutes (and I'm not even that important!), but today I've been plugging away since 11:30 sans interrupts. But apparently, my brain isn't use to this and thus needs a change of pace.

So, in honor of this mid-afternoon sabbatical I offer you this randomness free of charge :

• My wife sent me one of those "send this to 10 of your friends" emails.
  
• I drank a can of caffeine free Coke.
• I cleaned up my blog list...apparently some people have stopped blogging.
• I can't decide which book to read next (Driscoll or McKinley). Please help...
  
• My student worship team is leading worship in the service this Sunday.
• "Everybody knows it sucks to grow up" (Ben Folds in "Still Fighting It")
• I was awaken from dreamland at the butt-crack of dawn to scope out a mysterious crashing noise in the house...it was apparently my son. I'm still not entirely sure but I do know that my sleep did not return for at least 90 minutes.
• I think we need another vehicle.
• I'm behind on 24.
  
• I've been approached by someone writing a paper/article/something about the keys to longevity in youth ministry. Umm...yeah...got any ideas?
  

Ok, that's enough...it's now time to hit the books.

Dear Church...

I'll admit that I've been disillusioned with the church. Sometimes I still am. In fact, just the other day...ahhh...nevermind.

This book by Sarah Cunningham (www.dearchurch.com) sums up so well what I and many of my generational counterparts have felt about the church lately. And while she speaks loudly on behalf of the disillusioned generation, she doesn't let this become what I've heard Philip Yancey describe as a "ritual lament".

At moments I would be thinking "Yes! Let 'em have it." and then the next moment I'm being challenged and wondering what my whole role is going to be. What part will I play in helping the church adjust to a new generation of Jesus-followers? Provided, of course, that it needs some adjusting.

I'm thinking this would be a great book to work through with some similarly-minded people. To hear if the ideas and thoughts resonate with anyone else. To see if this could push/encourage/empower/motivate the disillusioned to start doing something instead of constantly running away. And you have to admit that our generation runs away from the church a lot, right?

But why do we do it? Why don't we stick it out? In fact why do so many people play the "do it my way or I'll leave" card? Why has leaving (or abandoning) the church become so normal?

Dwight highlight 3...

It's Easter and this is the best I can come up with?

Bad sports day...

Last chance for the playoffs this year and we choke with a 6-5 loss? Yeah, not exactly a display in defensive prowness. And not exactly the Dryden/Roy-esque performance that I was hoping for.

A natural hat trick from Ryder, Huet stopping something like 25 shots in the first period alone, and a 5-3 lead at one point just wasn't enough.

Now who am I supposed to cheer for?

Another loss...

United lost again today...sigh...

On the heels of a midweek defeat against Roma in the Champions League, this has not been a good week football wise. Yeah, I know any away goal at Roma is a good thing, but a loss is always hard to take.

I'm really hoping that my Habs can pull off a big victory against those Leafs tonight. But I'll admit that I'm not exactly the most confident right now. The road hasn't been good to us lately, ACC hasn't been good to us...and it should be interesting to see if Huet gets the start. He'll have something to prove. Maybe we'll get a Dryden-esque or Roy-esque performance out of him tonight. The countdown is on.

Random Thursday post...

I'm bored, therefore I post.

This show cracks me up. Sure, not the greatest character development, but David Spades' sarcasm and Patrick Warburton's dry humor make the show. But it'll probably get cancelled. Most shows I like get cancelled. MacGyver, Hidden Hills, Boomtown, Albert the 5th Musketeer...

When will it end...

Here's yet another case of violence off the pitch at a football game. This is getting ridiculous and it needs to stop.

I truly believe that football is a beautiful game. But these moments do not make it look like that to the rest of the world who doesn't seem to appreciate the game as it is.

And now April...

I thought March might have been the month of blogging where I could have beaten my single month posting record. But then life happened and well...the record did not.

I am currently watching another Leaf's game...don't worry, I do have a good excuse for watching them play twice in the last 24 hours. I want them...no...I NEED them to lose. With the battle for a playoff spot in the East going down to the wire, my Habs need to win all their game while the blue and white drops game after game. And while last night I spent 3 periods and overtime as a Penguins fan, today I am a rangers fan. Although I'd really rather that they both loss.

Next Saturday will be a big night as the Habs and the Leafs come face to face. I only hope I'm on the winning side.

Strange...

I know that when you put a blog out there that it's intended for public consumption, but ever since I've installed the statcounter I've been able to notice some peculiar facts about the individuals that drop by to read my ramblings. Today I noticed that 5 different people in the past week have ended up here after doing searches for "monster rabbit".

I dunno...it must be getting close to Easter.

Talkin' sex...

We started a sex series with our middle school and high school groups this week. One word can describe the environment: awkward. We get the nervous chuckles, silly smiles, nervous seat-shifting and the "don't-make-eye-contact" looks. And with an anonymous question box, you never know what you might get.

But the highlight of the week was this exchange with some middle schoolers:

Me: "What have you been taught about sex?"

MS #1: "Masturbation"

MS #2: "Uhh...what's that?"

Yeah...a room full of teenagers and a conversation about sex is the ultimate recipe for "interesting".

Beautifully vulgar...

I'm not sure why but I have a habit of listening to particular artists for extended periods of time...almost to the point where I overdose on them. And sometimes these musical binges seemingly happen right out of the blue. I read an article or hear a song and the next thing my wife knows that's all I'm listening to for the next month and a half.

My most recent one, besides the obvious Dave Matthews and Eric Clapton, is Ben Folds. I think it was an article in Relevant Magazine a few months ago that got me re-interested in his music. I say "re-interested" because already had one album from my college days.

But this afternoon watched a video of a song called "Still Fighting It" (you can find the video here) and felt myself getting choked up. So apparently not only do I have a soft spot for Boy Meets World, but I also find myself being moved by the beautiful music of this often vulgar individual.

I feel like I'm all over the map these days. This can't be normal.

Driftin...

My wife is getting sick of hearing about Clapton, but I found this clip from his show in Dallas last month. This version is not nearly as good as the one last thursday, but maybe you can just enjoy the fret work. There is some close ups of Eric on the big screen a little later in the video.

A living legend...

My wife asked me how the concert was when I arrived home at 2:00am last night. My response was not coherent. Not because I was tired from a long day or worn out from 6.5 hours of driving, but rather because I could not put into word what it was like to watch a living legend do his thing for 2 hours.

Some call Clapton a god. I will settle just short of that description out of courtesy to the One who actually dishes out the talents. But the guy's got some mad skills.

The concert was beyond words. From the beginning to the end every song was filled with "wow". It's a toss up as to which part of the evening I enjoyed more...the acoustic portion that came in the middle of the evening or the 2 song encore that consisted of "Cocaine" and "Crossroads". Oh, and let's not forget "Layla".

I will say that this was money well spent and I would do it again in a heartbeat. If you ever have a chance to see Clapton in concert, don't think...just buy the ticket(s) and go see him. You will have an appreciation for him unlike ever before and you will be glad you did it.

Here's a great review. And this was the setlist for the evening:

-Tell The Truth
-Key To The Highway
-Got to Get Better in A Little While
-Little Wing
-Why Does Love Got To Be So Sad

-Driftin' (EC Solo)
-Outside Woman Blues
-Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out
-Running On Faith

-Motherless Children
-Little Queen of Spades
-Further On Up The Road
-Wonderful Tonight
-Layla

-Cocaine
-Crossroads (with Robert Cray)

So what...

I'm falling deeper and deeper into something, but I'm not sure exactly what that "something" is. I know it has to do with the church (not just my church, but the larger church) though. My past and current experiences, my reading, my thoughts and my convictions seem to be up to something. And I'm not sure what's going to come out on the other end. I've had moments in the past 2 weeks where I feel like my head is going to explode. I have times when I'm racing...trying to figure out what to do...trying to figure out the "so what".

I'd liken it to a pile of modeling clay that's being shaped, but right now it just looks like a blob. Is this normal?

SexGod...

I think I read this only because it's Rob Bell. I like the guy. He's smart, articulate and just plain annoying at points. I don't get half the stuff he says, but that's ok, since I normally toss stuff like that aside anyway.

I think Rob describes how I feel about this book best with something from the epilogue:

For some, hopefully, light has been shed on things that matter, "Oh, that finally makes sense," or "I never thought about it like that," or even, "Huh...I'll have to think about that."

As the title alludes, the book is all about sexuality. It's about sex, God, relationships, marriage, lust, self-image, submitting, Hebrew, heaven, hell, animals, angels, dancing and Johnny Cash. Really...it takes it all on.

A New Kind of YM...

I get nervous when people suggest they've come up with a new way of doing youth ministry that is more effective than the "other" way (whatever that other way may be). I swallowed hard when I opened this book and I was guarded, skeptical and pessimistic when I started reading this (which makes me wonder why I started reading it to begin with). My first question was, "who are you to tell me that my way is wrong and your way is right and better?"

My ending question, "what do I need to change about myself and the way I minister to students that can result in a more productive ministry?" Yeah, I noticed that there's a bit of a change in my thought process too.

Chris put into words many things I've thought of over my years of working with students. He challenged me, encouraged me, reprimanded me, and flat out smacked me in the face. I think he's bang on with so many of the things he said. I'd sum them up, but I'd just be writing the book in my own words, and I think that's plagiarism.

This goes on the list of "books you should definitely read if you work with students".

As for the outcome in my own life/ministry. I'm currently involved in the beginning stages of a ministry evaluation and this book helps remind me of some all too important questions I need to be asking as we begin to refine what the future of our student ministry looks like. You'll probably hear about it here from time to time.

Breaking spring...

It's raining again. Or maybe I should say "still". I wonder what the sun looks like. I wonder what it feels like.

Today begins a week of no youth ministry programs. Please note that I didn't say "no youth ministry". I'm smart enough to know that ministry is an ongoing thing. I also realize that the second I mention that it is going to be a quiet week, somethings liable to hit the fan. Isn't that how it always works?

But I'm definitely looking forward to change in my schedule. I've got big plans too. We'll just have to see if I can follow through with these:

• finish reading some books (New Kind of YM, What Matters Most)
  
• start reading some books (SexGod, Confessions of a Reformation Rev)
  
• prepare for a talk I'm giving next Sunday in LifeStage (our version of SS) to the 40-55 year olds about teenagers and what's happening in the lives of our students
• blog about some thoughts I've had lately that need some processing
  
• take a day to read
• finish next month's newsletter
• get ahead on my messages for the upcoming teaching series (we're talking about sex...)
• see Clapton in concert!
  

I could probably add a pile more, but I think I'll call it there so I don't overwhelm myself.

Emergence...

With all the reading I've been doing lately in regards to the subject of the emerging church I'll admit that this caught my attention. I can't help but wonder what it would be like to get the rest of the staff to attend this with me. So...anyone up for a road trip in June?

Sausages & coke...

It's Thursday and I'm home. The plan was to sleep in but instead I was awaken by a plumber and an electrician pounding on the door (this is starting to sound like a bad dream or something). I'll let my beautiful wife blog about the flooring debacle.

But after some quality lego building with the kids now REM is playing in the background, sausages are frying and I'm enjoying a caffeine free coke. And the best part is that I'm not even going to think about work today.

Seasons...

It's just one of those seasons right now. I'm tired and a little cranky (ask my wife), I'm a little run down and worn out these days. It happens from time to time. And the problem is I know exactly what I need but I can't get it. It's called "3 weeks in Maui".

These past two weeks have been unlike any I've ever had in ministry before. It's almost like I can't get 30 minutes of work done without a phone call or a drop in. I've had way too many meetings scheduled and I haven't spent nearly enough time at home.

I know it's not normal, but it easily could become so if I don't make some serious modifications to my schedule. I think I'm going to need to revisit Doug Fields' "What Matters Most" sometime in the next week.

I want to see the music...

Tuesday's episode of House was memorable for this. Can anyone name the other guy (who isn't Hugh Laurie) playing the piano?

I've got words for this PC...

And they aren't pleasant. I just finished a lengthy post about hooliganism and a recent movie I watched (Green Street Hooligans) and now it's been swallowed up by a mysterious blackhole also known as "my computer with a mind of its own".

Not wanting to recreate the original post, I've opted instead for a few highlights from a fairly full yet relaxing weekend:

• Enjoyed watching Green Street Hooligans. It's been sitting on the DVR for almost 2 months but I finally found some time. But don't watch it if you dislike violence, football or English accents. Gritty movie.
• Read "MySpace My Kids". Nothing new was said in this book that I didn't already know, but it could be a useful resource for any parent who doesn't have a clue about the wonderful world of MySpace.
• Watched a pile of episodes of "The Unit" and caught up on my "Lost" viewing. The latter keeps getting stranger and stranger. I'm close to giving up on it.
• Watched RV with the kids this afternoon. It makes me want to try an RV vacation...but I'd be the guy who doesn't have a clue how to empty the sewage tank. I guess I'll opt for tents and hotels.

Confessions...

I know it's odd, but I'm as shocked as everyone else. I just finished a book that I started reading yesterday called "Confessions of a Pastor". I'll admit that a few of Groeschel's admissions stuck out to me which is why I wanted to read it. That and I think someone somewhere along the line might have suggested it.

It's a simple read and I would imagine that most pastors would probably resonate and agree with most of the honest confessions. I think it raised an overall question of what churches are doing in order to not only encourage their shepherd to be accountable, but what are they doing in order to promote honesty and transparency with their leaders.

Let's be honest, most pastoral confessions are usually followed by "asked to step down".

I'll admit that while there is a level of honesty that is a little refreshing, there is also an element of too many simple cliches. Comments like "what's happening to you is not as important as what God's doing in you" and "as our faith expands, worry shrinks" tend to make me a little nauseous at times. Yeah, yeah...I get that there's an element of truth in them.

Should I recommend this? Sure...why not. It's not written about your typical topic. Maybe it would be useful if this could pave the way for more pulpit transparency. I don't think it will...is that normal?

Dwight highlight 2...

Thanks to Marko for this one. Funny stuff.

Radical...

Three posts in one day? I'm on some sort of mission. Or maybe it has to so with the fact that my wife believes my first two posts today were actually her property even though she never actually posted them.

Anyways...I don't think I'm emergent. I don't think I even know entirely what it means. Maybe that, in and of itself, makes me emergent. Either way I've never had an overwhelming desire to delve into the whole emergent movement thing. But somewhere along the line I picked up some books and started reading them. Then I started pondering. What resulted was and interesting little journey that has me more intrigued/curious about church in general.

I finished "The Radical Reformission" by Mark Driscoll and I will say that I enjoyed his straight-forward, sarcastic, edgy commentary on how we as a church need to rethink the way we are currently trying to reach people with the Gospel. He's got some good thoughts to ponder.

I'll have to pull this one down off the shelf again and go through the questions at the end of each chapter a bit more thoroughly. But until then, I can finally cross another book of my "must-read-before-I-buy-anymore-books" pile.

Trade deadline...

Today was the NHL trade deadline and I'm one of those guys that is constantly checking the web throughout the day to see who got traded. I was really hoping that Gainey would pull off something significant to strengthen up heading into the playoffs. But when the dust settled the most startling news was to hear that the Oilers had traded Ryan Smyth to the Islanders.

This is indeed a sad say for every Oiler fan. That guy was the heart and soul of the organization. Should be interesting to see if they will have what it takes to make the playoffs. A team that relies on grit needs Smyth in the lineup. I don't think they have a chance this year.

In the words of Riley...

"Sleep, no I never get enough
Always waking up tired"
-"Sleep" by Riley Armstrong

I spent the weekend with 18 of my students and 4 leaders at a retreat. I think it goes without saying that sleep did not come often enough during our time away. In fact the only time that sleep tried to make an appearance was while I was behind the wheel on the return trip. And since I feel an obligation to return students in the shape that I receive them, sleep was not allowed to overtake my activities.

It was a great weekend though. The highlight for me being listening to Shane Claiborne. I've heard him before and I have a great level of respect for him. His heart for Jesus and his heart for people shines through in everything he says and he is just as genuine to those who he meets in person.

I watched a group of my students & leaders stand around after the final session and just talk with Shane. It was obvious that they were processing what he said. What isn't as obvious is what they are going to do with what they heard. I know they were challenged. I just wonder how it will all flesh itself out. I'm grateful for a guy like Shane who takes the time to talk students through some of this stuff.

My prayer is that they will not just forget the challenge, but that they will be moved to action. We'll see what happens.

WWJBP...

What Would Jack Bauer Play?

How about everything Gibson! I personally prefer the sound of an acoustic, but I'd be tempted to buy one of these. It's Gibson's Kiefer KS-336. I was impressed by "Jack's" knowledge of music, and especially of Gibson guitars. He knows his stuff!

It turns out he's quite the musician and has amassed a sweet collection of guitars over the years. Which is sad in a way because I could definitely put one of those guitars on his shelf to use.

Who am I kidding? I don't even have time to play the guitars that I've got.

Anyways, it's not normal to own this many guitars is it?

Hurting...

Today I saw students with broken hearts. Kids who are very obviously aching and hurting and in pain. Suffering with life issues, parent issues, friend issues and a host of other issues that most people never see or take the time to ask about.

Tonight I was very much aware of how much our students need to be loved. Loved by me. Loved by my wife. Loved by others. Loved by our church. Loved by Jesus.

Dwight highlight...

I love The Office. No, I haven't seen the original British version and yes, I do have a Dwight bobblehead on my desk.

Jim's practical jokes on Dwight are by far the highlight for me, so I thought I'd share the joy with one of my favorite moments from the show. Enjoy...

Grammy's highlight...

I finally got around to watching the Grammy's the other night (just like everything I tend to be a little bit behind the times). I'll be honest, I mostly flipped through to watch the musical performances. And while most people seemed to be talking so much about The Police reuniting for the evening, I was absolutely enthralled by the 3 song performance by John Mayer, Corrine Bailey Rae and John Legend. In order to share the experience, here it is...

Outsider...

I've never really fit. I'm not sure if that's just because I primarily work with students, but I have always felt like somewhat of an outsider when it comes to relating to adults. In fact, this past year was the first time since college that I have been in a small group of peers where some of the members are many years older than me and I've felt connected to a group of adults.

Last night my wife and I attended an appreciation dinner that was put on for our pastoral staff by our elders board. I'm grateful for a group like this who is doing what they can to show their support and appreciation of the pastoral staff.

My only addendum is that I was the youngest one there by 5-6 years, and I'm sure that the overall average age was likely around 50. Most of the people in the room could have probably been my parents. Yikes!

Let's face it...I'm young. I just wish that I didn't always feel like an outsider of sorts. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in a hurry to age, nor do I want to change positions with anyone. It's just moments like last night that remind me of how different I am from most of the world...and how different I am from many in our church.

YM frustrations...

I love my job. I know I'm doing what God has called me to do, but I'll be honest and say that there are just some things I don't like about youth ministry anymore. Ok, so it's just one thing: arranging outside events. You know, those ones where students and parents have to sign their lives away so you can cram them into minivans for a weekend.

I'm currently in a pickle trying to re-arrange (yes, in the sense that it was at one point already "arranged") transportation for a youth conference we are going to be attending. Yeah...this part of the job irks me. I'd rather be teaching or thinking big picture or studying or hanging with the students, not phoning and begging and pleading and pulling what little hair I have left from my head.

I hate trying to arrange transportation. I hate the insurance details and the fine print. I know it's there for a reason, but it sure makes life a nightmare for me. If I had my way I would never plan an outside event again.

(*editor's note - this may have been written in the heat of the moment)

Doggin it...

I'm blitzed. It probably doesn't help that it sounds like a smoker is living in my bedroom these past few nights (love ya Erin!), but I'm halfway to blitzville today. It's 4pm and I'm looking at a hundred things I could do (and probably SHOULD do) and I'm trying to come up with 200 hundred ways to avoid doing them.

In other news...I'm having a music crisis lately. Maybe you've noticed the dichotomy in my "tunesworthy" section lately. Matt Redman, Switchfoot and Ben Folds?!?! I've also found a way to find some time this week for Amanda Marshall, Kenny Chesney, Diamond Rio and Matthew Good. Yeah...it's enough change and variation to make your head spin.

Is this normal?

In the news...

I'm not a big fan on posting about the news, unless it involves Manchester United or the Montreal Canadiens, but this has been building for a while. In fact, I think I've reworded this post about 4 or 5 times. Here it goes...

I am officially sick of hearing about this whole Ted Haggard saga. The final straw was hearing on Jon Stewart the other night (or maybe it was Colbert...either way, it's also been in major news as well, lest I appear like one who relies on Stewart & Colbert for my world news reports) that Haggard is now "completely heterosexual" after 3 weeks in counselling.

Here's a few issues I have...

1. James Dobson wouldn't agree to help counsel Haggard when this whole thing blew up. the smart-alec in me wants to say, "What?!?! It's too much for you to give 3 weeks to a friend in need?" Come on.


2. Is it really possible to become "ungay" in 3 weeks? To me this seems to rank up there with every other celebrities attempt at a quick fix (Miss USA, Lindsey Lohan and the guy from "Grey's Anatomy").


3. All this talk about restoration makes me wonder what restoration really means? Is it just removing someone from leadership, forcing them into counselling and then letting them walk away on their own? Apparently the oversight board recommended that Haggard go into "secular work". Is this restoration?

I don't profess to know all the details of this. Some of these reactions may be of the knee-jerk type, but I can't help but want to shake my head. Is this normal?

Oops I did it again...

I apologize for the Brittney Spears reference, but it's all my tiny brain can come up with after a weekend stuffed in our Versa with my wife and kids while we made our way to and from Calgary for my brother-in-law's wedding.

Yes, the wedding was great. All went well. But my Spears-esque reference has more to do with a trip to Christian Publications that my wife and made on Monday morning. You see, they offer pastors a 20% discount. Add to that the fact that Alberta has no sales tax and you can figure out what happened next.

I bought books. Do you think I'm any closer to finishing the last stack of books I bought back in June? Or the ones I bought in November at NYWC? Ummm...not really. Actually, I'm nowhere close.

But how could I pass up this deal? So now I've got these to read...

• No Perfect People Allowed by John Burke
• The Radical Reformission by Mark Driscoll
• Dear Church... by Sarah Cunningham
• This Beautiful Mess by Rick McKinley
• Confessions of a Pastor by Craig Groeschel

When will I ever learn?