Last weekend I sat in a room full of students for the annual Legacy youth conference at Ambrose University College. And while I expected this to be like every other weekend. Little sleep, tested nerves, mediocre teaching, rock star worship, awkward small groups, skits full of inside jokes, and terrible food. (Optimistic, eh?)
In reality what I got was more reminiscent of a similar youth conference 9 years earlier where God decided that it was time to do some work on my heart.
This past weekend I was faced with the fact that I've let bitterness take over so much of my life and my heart. And it was clear that it could not be ignored any longer.
In one of those experiential teaching moments I found myself setting aside my pride and selfishness and confessing my bitterness to God. I felt like He was asking me to let go and in doing so I experienced grace.
Now, I know that I'm not done. I still have many rough edges that need some sanding. But I'm trying. And I'm remaining open to what God has for me.
It was this past weekend that God reminded me of what he has asked me to do with my life. Not just in what I do as a "job" but also what I do with my heart.
So, I'm still in. That's what I told Him.
It's a heartfelt response much like I remember distinctly from 9 years ago.
It's a reply I've been hesitant to make, but it's one that I need to make regularly with sincerity.