I meet the Youth Pastor stereotype of having a goatee.
However, I do not grow it to be cool. I grow it out of necessity.
You can only be asked the question, "Where's your Youth Pastor?" so many times before your confidence is shattered.
I know you didn't ask for it, but here's some little known facts about the fur on my face that you might find interesting:
- I started growing it in July 2006 because I thought it would be a fun change of pace for someone who has rarely ever needed to shave more than twice a week. (And one of those weekly shaves was just so I could say that I shave more than once a week.)
- Yes, I do trim it. (Usually after someone mentions that it looks like my chin threw up.)
- Most guys see my beard as an accomplishment. Random guys comment "Nice beard" or "Cool...how long has that taken." Most females think it's gross and say mean things about it.
- My wife tells me that she doesn't mind it. But I think that's because it makes me look older. (Women apparently do not like being seen as old or older.)
- Yes, it does trap food. The worst culprits are ice cream and pie.
- I usually get a couple of comments at church each week about it. Most of those comments revolve around how to remove it from my chin.
- I do have people ask if they can touch it. Seriously...and I don't understand this one. Why?!?! But, if you must, I prefer you ask before you try and grab at it.
- My old intern Ryan used to love pulling at it to see how many hairs he could pluck out. I think he once got 5 and I may have shed tears. This is why I don't like people grabbing at my chin.
- Erin & Becca have placed berets in it on different occasions. They usually don't last long.
- It has been braided...just not properly.
- One of my students offered to make it into a dreadlock. (Yes, singular.)
- I got called Senor Goatee by a little girl on the Island in the Sun.
- I tell people it will come off as part of a fundraiser for a youth group missions trip. (Or maybe for me to attend NYWC in the fall. Maybe I could swing both...so start saving and make me an offer.)
One week later, here's my notes from a talk that Shane Hipps gave at NYWC. It started out slow, but as he went on I found myself drawn in and challenged by what he said.
- Adam's first task was a creative project: naming the animals
- We are made to create, just like God creates
- Technology is representative of our God-given creative gifts
- Technology is inevitable
- Technology has an unintended consequence; it's not bad but it can do things that are bad
- The clock was originally invented to help people connect with God; now the clock connects us more to money than to God
- We need to be fully present here AND now
- The only thing that exists is this moment
- Face to face conversations are becoming more infrequent and awkward
- We are blinded to the power of physical presence in the world
- Be there. Be physically there.
- "Where two or more are gathered...": It's about presence.
- How do you communicate presence over email, Facebook, and Twitter?
- The incarnation shows us that presence is at the centre of Christian faith
- We need to periodically fast from technology
- The most meaningful transformation will happen, not online but within physical presence
- Practice what it means to be here and now
- Stop depriving the world of what it needs: the WHOLE you!
This completely resonates with me. I can get so caught up in technology that I forget to be present in the lives of others. I can get so caught up in planning and organizing and leading that I can often overlook the people right in front of me.
We've made some changes to our student ministry this year so we could work on teh very same principal: be present. We're calling it intentional proximity and we've asked all of our leaders to go out of their way to be present in the lives of our students.
It reminds me of a comment from Modern Family the other night. The one character, Jay, is asked what the key to being a good dad is. His closing thought was that "90% of being a dad is just showing up."
Are you showing up in the lives of those around you?
Arriving back in Abbotsford late last night (actually, this morning) after being in LA for the weekend was kind of like getting slapped in the face with a cold, wet, dead fish after spending a weekend not getting hit in the face with a cold, wet, dead fish.
(I was never really good at analogies.)
It's cold, wet and cloudy here. It wasn't in LA. (Smoggy, yes. But 30+ degree weather usually burns that off.)
I originally hoped to do a little more blogging from the NYWC, but I got sidetracked by spending time with my wife and processing all that I was taking in.
In the weekend I was challenged, irritated, encouraged, overjoyed, amused, entertained, taught, bored, tired, excited and emotional. The marks of a good weekend where my heart and mind were fully engaged.
It was a weekend where I didn't feel out of place because of what I do.
A weekend where I was reminded to keep doing what I do.
A weekend surrounded by others who get it.
A weekend where I didn't feel too old or too young.
A weekend I love to be part of.
And now it's back to the cold and the wet. But I'm not bummed about it. I'm excited. I'm looking forward to diving back into the mix with my leaders, my students and my church. (Well...actually Jesus' church, but you know what I mean.)
So, a heartfelt thank-you to the crew at Youth Specialties. These weekends are a highlight of my year and I am grateful for how God has worked in my life through these times.
If you've never been and you work with students, just go. Next year: Nashville.
The alarm started buzzing this morning at 3:30am.
That's stupid early and I am so tired.
But I get to spend the weekend with a beautiful woman while taking in some warm weather, listening to music, listening to people talk about a subject I love: student ministry.
In an unrelated note, hotels charge way too much to get online. If I am spending this much money to stay in a hotel, I should get free internet. I guess I should be happy with free valet parking, but I must be too demanding.
I picked up Marko's new book "Youth Ministry 3.0" in Sacramento and decided that since Erin's partying it up elsewhere tonight that I would see how far through it I could get.
I finished it. Mind you, it's not a long book, so don't give me too much credit!
Anyways, Marko introduced us to many of the thoughts in this book when he led the last General Session at NYWC, so I felt that this book filled in many of the gaps that I was left with after his talk. In some ways I felt like the talk was a teaser for the book.
The book describes many of the major shifts that have occurred in youth ministry over the years and how he believes that we're making another shift now into what he would call Youth Ministry 3.0. A new approach to how we "do" it.
I'm just going to say a big I DON'T KNOW.
I am absolutely in agreement with some of what he says.
At the same time I find myself wrestling with other parts of it.
I've heard the arguments from many other youth pastors that the way we're doing it (youth ministry) isn't working. I've said it myself after watching countless students that have participated in leadership retreats and missions trips totally walk away from their faith.
It is frustrating and confusing.
Maybe I've done it wrong in the past. Maybe I'm doing it wrong now.
But then again, maybe that's life? Maybe that's what our journey with Jesus is supposed to look like? Maybe it is supposed to contain more living it out and less trying to figure it out?
I'm always trying to figure stuff out. How to teach better. How to understand teenagers better. How to reach parents. How to have quiet time. How to...how to...how to.
I wonder if maybe we're missing the "here and now" aspect. Maybe we need to stop trying to figure out the next great thing and do "here and now" what works.
I'm not even sure what that looks like. How do we ever know if it works? Are we supposed to?
Good stuff to think about though. But since I think so much about praxis, all this general thinking is causing my head to swirl at an unreasonably high rate. And that is just not allowed on a day off.
I'm going to have to find something mindless to do until Erin gets home.
Thoughts? (Not on what to do now. Thoughts on what I've rambled about?)
All I would like to say is that tomorrow is Thanksgiving and instead of turkey I'll be eating In N' Out. And then I'll be driving. We should arrive home just in time for me to shower and go to work on Tuesday morning. Anyone feel like flying me back instead?
Lots of great stuff today with a little bit of "huh?" to top it all off. I think it's impossible to do a weekend conference like this and not experience something that makes you shake your head.
I don't want to take the time to walk you through it all because it's not really that exciting.
What I will tell you is that I have convinced a certain someone here with us in California to participate in NYWC speed dating tomorrow night. And all I had to offer was a free meal. I hope to have more details later.
So, what are you up to this weekend?
Well, it's not 27 degrees. It's actually windy and a little chilly. But at least I can see the sun.
We were on the road at 10:30pm last night and we pulled up to the hotel just before 2:30pm.
The only major meal consisted of a chicken burrito at Carl's Jr. Mmmmm!
We just finished adding the the American economy by shopping at the big Thursday night sale, and now we're going to try and find some food before Swarley the intern dies of hunger. He's a weak man.
Tomorrow after youth I head off to Sacramento. Can you say "sunshine"?
Would you like regular updates over the weekend or will you survive without me?
I started to post and then I realized that I would say too much and try to be too profound an insightful. Then I stopped and thought to myself, "when have I ever been profound and insightful in my blog?"
So, here it is...the simplified version of what I experienced in Anaheim. It can be summed up by one word that is written in red marker on the back of an American one dollar bill. LOVE.
Everywhere I turned I was being reminded to love.
- The crazy sign people reminded me to love the people that believe differently than I do.
- Efrem Smith reminded me that "God wants to love the hell out of you."
- Matthew Barnett reminded me to stop seeking after success and start seeking after the welfare of the people. Again with the love thing.
- Mike Pilavachi reminded me "go after the one" and to "love with Jesus' heart". Whole lotta love.
- Shane Claiborne (who left me with the dollar) reminded me "don't do great things; do little things with great love!"
- Marko reminded me that I'm also arrogant and I think that's because I'm usually more in love with myself than with other people.
- I was reminded that I need to love my family more.
- I was reminded that I need to love difficult students more.
At one point we were asked to select one word that we felt God was placing on our heart. Then we were asked to write that word on a mirror with a sharpie and then look at our reflection behind that word. What was it that God was trying to reveal in us and through us. The one word for me? LOVE.
I'm still trying to work this out practically. I'm still trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do with my dollar (go here to read a way better explanation by Kerry). I'm still trying to figure out how to love difficult people. I need to greatly improve how I love my family. I've got to just get better at loving people overall.
I meet the Youth Pastor stereotype of having a goatee.