Sunday, June 28, 2009

Inside my head...

As I may have mentioned before, sometimes I hear voices in my head.

In an attempt to explain myself, as well as hopefully give you a little insight into what goes through my head when I'm involved with leading worship at our church on a given Sunday, let me share this with you.

Back story: we have two "worship through music" portions of our service. One is traditional and the other is contemporary. The message is sandwiched in between with some other church family type stuff.

In order to help our worship pastor out, I offered to lead the contemporary portion this week with a scaled back "youth band". Only 5 of us were on stage compared to the usual (I kid you not) 8-10.

I picked the songs last week, hoping that we could pull it off with the minimal practice time we had available to us, because of the building being used for a grad ceremony on our typical practice night. I was also trying to get the songs to fit with the message theme as best I could, without ever having heard the actual sermon but knowing a little bit of the big idea.

Cut to this morning where I was a little on edge. Sweaty, shaky, nervous. I wasn't doubting the song selection per say, but I was doubting the transition from the sermon and into the contemporary portion.

Then as I listened to the sermon, I kept having a mini song race through my brain. It's one of those impromptu songs that only has about 2 lines and we have only actually practiced once as a band...ever.

But I can't shake the song. I can't shake the idea that with a little lyrical change it would be a perfect fit. It seems like it has to be done.

But we don't have words on the screen for it.

We haven't nailed it in practice.

But the message seems to fit so perfectly.

The voice in my head is very convincing. And I can't get it to leave me alone. I do it? Or do I stick to what is?

I traded a quick note with my wife. She added confirmation.

So, we tried it. I asked for people to reflect as they listened and then to join in as they were ready to make the statement:
I may be down, but I will rise
I once was bound, God set me free.

Then we headed into these tunes:
  • Glory to God Forever
  • Holding Nothing Back
  • Let the Praises Ring
Normally I wouldn't share this here. I hate to make things seem like the songs make the morning. But this morning I was able to participate in the music unlike I have ever done before. The song choices resonated with my heart and my head. The response from everyone was participatory and enthusiastic. It was like everything clicked.

With that being said, I still wrestle with that one transition.

It seems strange that one little piece of the service can cause my brain to race so much.

I just hope it wasn't a distraction to anyone who was there.

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