Saturday, July 26, 2008

Vampires, zombies and sunburns...

I will now humiliate myself for your viewing pleasure.

My wife and I took the kids to Harrison for the afternoon on Thursday to enjoy the sun while playing in the water and building sandcastles.

Soon after my arrival I asked Erin to apply some sunscreen to the growth on my back. To be fair I'm not sure what to actually call this said "growth". I've had it for eternity. Or at least for the eternity of my life. And "growth" is probably a poor choice of terms as it doesn't actually grow. But I've been led to believe that if I don't hide it from the sun it will suddenly expand in size. Kind of like a reverse vampire effect.

You do know that vampires can't be in the sun, right?

This fact is kind of like one I mentioned a few months ago, that zombie's can only be killed by getting shot in the head. Or decapitated. Or something that's similarly violent and rarely seen in public.

So, back to the beach.

Erin applies a "little" sunscreen. As you can see from the white spot in the middle of my back, her definition of "little" is actually comparative to the size of an overgrown kidney. Not a kidney bean mind you, but an actual over sized human kidney. Now I should clarify that I'm only assuming that this would be the size of an overgrown kidney, because in actuality I've never seen one.

You will likely notice that the picture details some of Erin's other "handiwork". She swears up and down that she wiped her hand off before she swatted me, but you tell me. Does that white hand print look "accidental"?


jon said...


Tara said...


Anonymous said...

Personally, I'd be a little more worried about the "growth" which has manifest itself upon your chin.

theoquest said...

Maybe it's just 'cuz you mentioned vampires, but it almost looks like she wrote Vlad across your back!

Anonymous said...

I soooooo think your wife ROCKS!!! Bwah ha ha ha ha ha....

Todd Porter said...

1) You do realize that sunscreen when rubbed into your skin will spread beyond the area covered, right? That would explain why the spot in the middle of your back is bigger than the area covered.

2) She probably did wipe her hand off but there was obviously still some left when she slapped you on the back.

3) Why did you stay out so long in the sun so that you got burned that bad? Sounds like a silly idea to me. :-P

Knotter said...

I was hoping for more sympathy around here. Apparently I was wrong.

But I'm still glad you enjoyed it at my expense.

Todd, I wasn't aware about the spreading of sunscreen, but it makes sense.

However, my wife's sinister chuckle leads me to believe that she purposely applied more than she should have.